Days Like Today...

...Are very hard. Reagan had her 9 month well child check up today. I know she's behind in just about every area of development. But as we went through the development questions I became more and more sad. "Is she sitting up?" Well, no, but she can roll over! "Is she banging toys together?" No...but she reaches for everything! "Does she look for Daddy if you say his name?" Nope. She is Daddy's girl, though. She gets so excited when she sees him and she reaches for him. Okay. She is behind, for sure.

I don't know why it's so hard. This is not news to me. We see it every day. I guess just having it all laid out on paper makes it harder to ignore. Not that we ignore it, per se. We just don't over acknowledge it. We work on the areas that need work and we praise the areas that she's mastered. We choose to be positive and focus on her abilities and silently work on her disabilities. It's easier that way. But then I have a day like today and it all comes crashing down. I've kept my fears and worries inside and ignored them and now that they've been forced to the surface it's hard to deal with.

Reagan is a happy baby. She rarely cries and she laughs and smiles and squeals quite a bit. Her face lights up when she sees her daddy and she is so content in my arms. She is attached to Tim and I. If we walk away from her she cries. I know in my heart that she feels loved. How could she not? Reagan has so many people in her life who love her immensely. So why am I so upset over something as small as development? She is making progress. That's the most important, right? So how do I keep focus on that? Lord, help me.

Pictures Finally Came {Y3W}

We finally got the rest of the pictures that we had done way back in November. So here they are. Enjoy!

Doctor's Appointments Suck

Reagan had her metabolic clinic yesterday. This is when she sees the doctor that follows her NKH. Everything started out fine. Weight? 55th percentile. Length? 60th percentile. Vitals? All normal. On with the check up. Reagan was such a good girl, as always. She never minds going to the doctor. She was quiet and content while Dr. Nickels did his exam and told me that everything was looking good. Keep up the good work. Next came the dreaded blood work. It's never easy to get blood from Reagan. Two phlebotomists, two NICU nurses, four sticks, multiple bruises, and one crying baby later...no blood. On a normal basis, I would have made them stop at two sticks. But it is so important that we monitor her glycine levels closely. That is how we adjust her medicine. So now we have to go back next week to try again. I'm not looking forward to it.

On a lighter note, we had pictures made today! Just me and Reagan. I feel like we got some really good shots and Reagan was so cooperative. I can't wait to see how the pics turn out. It's going to be a long two weeks until they're ready.

First date without Reagan

Tim and I have not had any alone time in eight months. So on Saturday we sent the princess to be with Grandma for a few hours so we could go out on a date. How refreshing! While I love my baby girl more than life, it was so nice to go out with my husband and not have to worry about her for a few hours. We didn't do much...dinner and grocery shopping. Ha! Grocery shopping is actually considered a date when you have a baby. Little did I know. But it was wonderful.

Over the last few weeks I had started to feel distanced from Tim. This seemed to make it better. I felt reconnected and refreshed. So now I'm on a mission. Once a month (at least) I plan to make an unbreakable date with my husband. No baby. No worries. I feel like our marriage needs it. And ultimately Reagan needs it, too. She needs parents who are happy and stable and loving. We have to take care of our relationship just as much as we take care of her. It's what makes a happy family unit. I can't wait to see how it improves our family!

New High Chair {Y3W} and Possible Milk Allergy {Y3W}

I have two posts for your three words this week. First, Reagan got a brand new high chair!!
Finally! I'm so excited. No more trying to hold her and the jar of baby food and trying to keep her messy hands from touching the chair (because we don't have a kitchen table) and try to keep her from flipping out in the floor (because she's so wiggly). This little contraption is going to make my life sooooo much easier. It's sad that I'm this excited over a high chair. Ah, the fascinating life of motherhood.

So for my second Y3W...Possible Milk Allergy. A few weeks ago we gave Reagan about an ounce of whole milk just to see if she would like it. She did and she drank it straight down. A few minutes later I noticed a rash on her chin and neck. She has severe eczema so I didn't think too much about it. I put a little hydrocortisone cream on it and it went away after a little while. On with our day. Then a few days ago I gave Reagan a small bite of ice cream. Same thing. Rash on chin, cheeks and neck. So now I'm wondering if she's allergic to milk. Ugh. One more thing. If she is allergic to milk, that is going to suck. For her and us. No milk, cheese, ice cream. And we can't very well have those things and not let her have them. That would be torture. So I'm really hoping that this was just a reaction to her first few times of having milk products and it won't happen again. My little girl is just full of surprises.