...Are very hard. Reagan had her 9 month well child check up today. I know she's behind in just about every area of development. But as we went through the development questions I became more and more sad. "Is she sitting up?" Well, no, but she can roll over! "Is she banging toys together?" No...but she reaches for everything! "Does she look for Daddy if you say his name?" Nope. She is Daddy's girl, though. She gets so excited when she sees him and she reaches for him. Okay. She is behind, for sure.
I don't know why it's so hard. This is not news to me. We see it every day. I guess just having it all laid out on paper makes it harder to ignore. Not that we ignore it, per se. We just don't over acknowledge it. We work on the areas that need work and we praise the areas that she's mastered. We choose to be positive and focus on her abilities and silently work on her disabilities. It's easier that way. But then I have a day like today and it all comes crashing down. I've kept my fears and worries inside and ignored them and now that they've been forced to the surface it's hard to deal with.
Reagan is a happy baby. She rarely cries and she laughs and smiles and squeals quite a bit. Her face lights up when she sees her daddy and she is so content in my arms. She is attached to Tim and I. If we walk away from her she cries. I know in my heart that she feels loved. How could she not? Reagan has so many people in her life who love her immensely. So why am I so upset over something as small as development? She is making progress. That's the most important, right? So how do I keep focus on that? Lord, help me.
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